Most of us know many people who have walked down the aisle on their wedding day as happy as they could be, thinking they would live "happily ever after" only to later find themselves walking down a hallway to finalize a divorce. Unfortunately, love, even when you think it will be permanent, can die off somehow. But why? What are the "marriage killers" responsible for today's high divorce rate? That's what we'll address in today's Marriage Message --praying that as you read these insights, you'll examine your own marriage to see if you're falling victim to these same problematic "killers."
The following article was previously posted on the Focus on the Family web site. Here's a portion of the answer they gave on their web site to the question: What are the "marriage killers" most responsible for today's high divorce rate? Answer (written by a Focus on the Family counselor): "It would take perhaps 50 volumes to describe them all, and even then we would only scratch the surface. Any one of the following 'dragons' can rip a relationship to shreds if given the opportunity to do so: "OVER-COMMITMENT and PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION: Beware of this condition. It's especially insidious for young couples who are trying to get started in a profession or in school. Do not try to go to college, work full-time, have a baby, manage a toddler, fix up a house, and start a business at the same time. It sounds ridiculous, but many young couples do just that and are then surprised when their marriages fall apart. Why wouldn't they? The only time they see each other is when they are worn out! Married couples must reserve time for one another if they hope to keep their love alive. "EXCESSIVE CREDIT and CONFLICT OVER HOW MONEY WILL BE SPENT: Pay cash for consumable items or don't buy. Don't spend more on a house or a car than you can afford, leaving too few resources for dating, short trips, baby-sitters, etc. Use your funds with the wisdom of Solomon. "SELFISHNESS: There are two kinds of people in the world, the givers and the takers. A marriage between two givers can be a beautiful thing. Friction is inevitable for a giver and a taker. But two takers can claw each other to pieces within a period of weeks. Selfishness devastates marital partners in short order. "UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WITH IN-LAWS: If either the husband or the wife has not been fully emancipated from the parents, it is best not to live near them. Autonomy is difficult for some mothers and fathers to grant their children when they get married, and close proximity is a recipe for trouble. "UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Some couples come into marriage anticipating walks down primrose lanes, and unmitigated joy. There is no way a marriage between two imperfect human beings can deliver on that expectation. The late counselor Jean Lush believed, and I agree, that this romantic illusion is particularly characteristic of women, who expect more from their husbands than they're capable of providing. The consequent disappointment is an emotional minefield. "SPACE INVADERS: By space invaders, I am not referring to aliens from Mars. Rather, my concern is for those who violate the 'breathing room' needed by their partners, quickly suffocating them and destroying attraction between them. Jealousy is one way the phenomenon manifests itself. Another is poor self-concept, which leads to the insecure spouse to build a cage around the other. It often suffocates the relationship. Love must be free, and it must be confident. "SE_XUAL FRUSTRATION AND ITS PARTNER, THE 'GREENER GRASS' OF INFIDELITY: It's a deadly combination! "BUSINESS COLLAPSE: Failure in work does bad things to men especially. Their agitation over financial reverses sometimes precipitates anger within the family. "BUSINESS SUCCESS: It is almost as risky to succeed wildly as it is to fail miserably in business. King Solomon wrote: 'Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread" (Proverbs 30:8). Edward Fitzgerald said it another way: 'One of the saddest pages kept by the recording angel is the record of souls that have been dam_ed by success.' It's true. "GETTING MARRIED TOO YOUNG: Girls who marry between 14 and 17 years of age are more than twice as likely to divorce than those who marry at 18 or 19 years of age. Those who marry at 18 or 19 are 1.5 times as likely to divorce than those who marry in their 20's. The pressure of youth and the stresses of early-married life do not mix well. Finish the first before taking on the second. "ALCOHOL and SUBSTANCE ABUSE: These are notorious killers, not only of marriages, but of the people who indulge excessively. "PORNOGRAPHY, GAMBLING & OTHER ADDICTIONS: It should be obvious to everyone that the human personality is flawed. It has a tendency to get hooked on destructive behaviors, especially early in life. During the introductory stage, people think they can tamper with various enticements, such as pornography, gambling, hard drugs, etc., without being hurt. Indeed, some do walk away unaffected. For some, however, there is a weakness and vulnerability that are unknown until it is too late. Such people then become addicted to something that tears at the fabric of the family. "This warning may seem foolish and even prudish to my readers, but I've made a 20-year study of those who wreck their lives. Their problems often begin in experimentation with a known vice and ultimately end in death...or the death of a marriage. "These are a few of the common marriage killers. But in truth, the list is virtually limitless. All that is needed to grow the most vigorous weeds is a small crack in the sidewalk. If you are going to beat the odds and maintain an intimate, long-term marriage, you must take the task seriously. The natural order of things will carry you away from one another, not bring you together." ........................... We hope that if you recognize any of these marriage killers attacking your marriage --you'll be pro-active in finding ways to address them (and hopefully throw them out) to make your marital relationship as healthy as possible. We have additional articles linked to this message on our web site at www.marriagemissions.com. Plus, all of these "marriage killers" are addressed in various articles and blogs that you can read through on the Marriage Missions web site, as well. You may or may not have a spouse who will participate as he or she should in your relationship to destroy these "marriage killers", but with the Lord's help you can at least do YOUR part. Please don't underestimate the importance of this in your personal integrity, your witness to others, and in your personal relationship with God. May He bless you as you apply yourself to reveal and reflect His ways and His heart in all you do. Cindy and Steve Wright HEBREWS 10:12, 14, KJV But this man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down on the right hand of God... For by one offering He hath perfected forever them that are sanctified.
God sees you with no flaw, spot or imperfection, so honor His Word and the finished work of His Son by saying, “Amen!” Don’t doubt your perfection in Christ. To see yourself as being far from perfect is not modesty, but a failure to understand the perfect sacrifice that Jesus has made for you. The Bible tells us, “For by one offering He hath perfected forever them that are sanctified”. Did you get that? You have not only been sanctified, that is, made holy, but by the same offering of His body, you have been perfected. You are both holy and perfect in God’s eyes! Your sins have been purged perfectly. Today, Jesus is seated at His Father’s right hand not because He is the Son of God (although that is true), but because His work of purging your sins is completely finished and perfect! So instead of being conscious of your sins, which is to have an evil conscience (Hebrews 10:22), you can have a perfect conscience, a conscience that is free from the guilt and condemnation of sins. When you find yourself conscious of your sins, just say, “Thank You, Lord Jesus, for Your wonderful work at the cross. It is a perfect work that has removed all my sins completely. “Holy Spirit, thank You for convicting me of righteousness, not my own, but God’s righteousness given to me as a gift. Keep on convicting me in the days to come, reminding me especially when I fail that I am still the righteousness of God in Christ.” My friend, God sees you perfect without any spot of sin. He sees you covered in the beautiful white robes of His own righteousness. He treats you as a righteous man because that is what He has made you. So expect good things to happen to you because blessings are on the head of the righteous! (Proverbs 10:6) “For the Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and my native land, solemnly promised to give this land to my descendants. He will send his angel ahead of you, and he will see to it that you find a wife there for my son.” Genesis 24:7 (NLT)
Many people start the calendar year off with a goal. They resolve to lose weight, to spend more time with their kids, to read more, to achieve something specific at work, or some other noble (or not so noble) goal. But not every goal is a godly goal. Godly goals are attached to God’s promises in his Word. His promises give us the courage and faith to move forward when it’s much more natural to be scared or worried. In Genesis 24, Abraham gave his servant, Eliazar, a very tough goal: find a wife for his son, Isaac. At first Eliazar let fear get the best of him. He asked Abraham, “What do I do if I find a wife for Isaac, but she won’t come with me?” Abraham then reminded his servant of God’s promise: “For the Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and my native land, solemnly promised to give this land to my descendants. He will send his angel ahead of you, and he will see to it that you find a wife there for my son” Genesis 24:7 (NLT). After Abraham reminded Eliazar of the Lord’s promise, his fear vanished. The same thing happens with us. It’s scary to put everything you have into a big goal. No one wants to fail. But the Bible urges us not to look to our own strength to reach our goals. In fact, if we can accomplish our goals in our own strength, we’re not pursuing godly goals in the first place. What does God’s Word say about your goals for this year? You’ll never know unless you get to know what the Bible teaches. It’s like having an insurance policy, but you don’t know what that policy covers. You’d worry about many things needlessly. In the Bible God promises to help us as we get healthy, become better parents, eliminate our debt, and more. But unless we know those promises and claim those promises, we’ll worry needlessly about achieving those goals. The truth is, you don’t have to have big faith to accomplish huge goals either. You just need a little faith — in a big God! Your God is the God of the universe. He can do anything. Are you ready to trust God for the unbelievable? 11 .. And there was a woman there who for eighteen years had an infirmity caused by a spirit (a demon of sickness). She was bent completely forward and utterly unable to straighten herself up or to look upward.
12 .. And when Jesus saw her, He called [her to Him] and said to her, Woman you are loosed [released] from your infirmity ! LUKE 13 : 11 – 12 LOOK FORWARD !! In the Scripture you read about the woman who for eighteen years carried with her an infirmity. Eighteen years is an incredibly long time to single-handedly carry such a burden, and as you read, it most certainly took and immense toll on the woman .. Her body was left totally bent forward, she was completely unable to straighten herself, nor could she even look upwards. The woman was effectively left immobilised and crippled by an issue that she had carried with her for many, many years. After reading this woman’s story .. Can you perhaps sense a point of familiarity between her case history and your own ? No, you may answer, why would I ? .. OK .. Perhaps if the question is re-phrased a little. What baggage are you carrying with you ? .. For how long have you dragged this baggage upon your back, allowing it to weigh you down, causing your whole demeanour to sag, slowly crippling you ? How Long Do You Intend Allowing Your Past To Steal Your Future ? As you take a look at Luke’s account of the woman, notice that there are three major characters in the account .. There is The Person, The Problem and The Prescription. Well, in your life the same applies .. There is You, There is Your Problem .. And .. For your every problem .. God Has The Prescription !! Looking back to The Woman .. Pay attention to the words that Jesus first speaks to her .. Do you see that Jesus’ opening statement was not a recommendation for comfort or counselling .. Hardly .. The truth is that Jesus issued a challenging command !! Jesus Is not In The Business Of Comforting And Counselling Things That should Be Commanded !! And sadly that may very well be a mistake that you all too often make .. You protectively cling onto your hurt and pain, you comfort it and counsel it, you nurse and rehearse it .. Instead Of .. Dispersing it, releasing it and loosing yourself from it !! It is extremely wearisome and tedious to move forward and focus upwards when you are continuously bent over by the weight of the past !! Give yourself permission to take a little personal time-out .. Take this time and wisely use it to examine your condition, identifying the baggage and issues that you are sluggishly towing with you each day. Once you have thoroughly analysed your condition and you are confident that you understand it’s origin .. Be Bold and put your baggage into the out-stretched hand of God your Father !! .. Because .. It will take the authority of God’s Word to put the past under your feet !! Yes, your problem may very well be rooted in the past .. However .. Your Prescription Is a Present Word From God !! The Living Word you hear today, Will without fail heal your yesterday !! BE LOOSED !! GOD, KEEP YOUR ARM AROUND MY SHOULDER AND YOUR HAND OVER MY MOUTH !! Die grote wereld beskou ons soos 'n kind,
ons bid elke dag om die krag te vind, om die aarde met beide hande aan te pak, sonder om jou kop te laat sak dan kom jy by die lewens kruispad en jy weet nie watter rigting om te vat, vra die Vader vir die eerste tree om in die regte rigting te gee vat elke dag soos dit kom al is die pad so skeef en krom al raak jy moeg, met elke tree wat die hart swoeg lig daardie kop, kyk na die hemel op dank die Vader vir elke tree wat jy stap, jy is in groter hande al is daar dorings waarin jy trap({}) Invitations are special. “You’re invited to a gala celebrating the grand opening of. . .” “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request your presence at the wedding of their daughter. . .” To be invited is to be honored—to be held in high esteem! The most incredible invitations aren’t found in envelopes, but rather, they are found in the Bible. God invited Eve to marry Adam, the animals to enter the ark, and Mary to give birth to His son. “Come,” he invited, “Come to me all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).” “Come,” he would say. God is the King who invites us to come, who prepares the palace, sets the table, and invites his subjects to come in. His invitation for you, however, is not just for a meal, it’s for life! In 'n wêreld wat buite beheer is, sal ons hou van 'n god wat ons kan beheer: iemand wat ons kan seën, in ons behoeftes kan voorsien en vir ons raad kan gee. Amper soos 'n god in 'n boksie. Maar as dit by Christus kom, werk geen boksie nie. Sy tydgenote het Hom in verskeie boksies probeer plaas, maar Hy het nie in een van hulle gepas nie. Hulle het Hom 'n oproermaker genoem, maar Hy het belasting betaal. Hulle het Hom 'n skrynwerker genoem, maar Hy het geleerdes verwar. Hy was 'n Jood wat heidene na Hom toe aangetrek het; 'n Rabbi wat opgegee het op sinagoges; 'n Heilige Man wat met prostitute gepraat het. Hy het gepraat soos 'n koning, maar gelewe soos 'n pelgrim. Ons kan Jesus ook nie inperk deur Hom te probeer definieer nie. "Wysheid begin met die dien van die Here; wie die Here ken, het werklik insig." (Spr. 9:7 NV). Die meeste van ons vrese is ongesond. Hulle weerhou ons van vrede en blydskap. Om die Here te vrees, het egter die teenoorgestelde uitwerking. 'n Skrywer sê: "Daar niks neuroties daaraan om God te vrees nie. Die neurotiese optrede is om nie bang te wees nie, of om vir die verkeerde ding bang te wees. Dis hoekom God Homself aan ons bekend maak; sodat ons kan ophou om vir die verkeerde ding bang te wees. Wanneer ons verstaan wat God wil hê ons moet verstaan, ervaar ons 'n verandering in ons vrese. 'n Vrees vir God is 'n nederige besef dat ons nie God is nie."
Sielekos: 2 Kron. 29-31; Luk 17:20-37; Ps 119:137-144; Spr. 22:11-13 When our oldest daughter was two, I lost her in a department store. I panicked! All of a sudden only one thing mattered—I had to find Jenna. Shopping was forgotten. The list of things I came to get was unimportant. I yelled her name. What people thought didn’t matter. Every ounce of energy had one goal: to find my lost child. I did, by the way. She was hiding behind some jackets.
No price is too high for a parent to pay to redeem his child. No energy is too great. No effort too demanding. A parent will go to any length to find his or her own. So will God. Mark it down. God’s greatest creation is not the flung stars or the gorged canyons. It’s his eternal plan to reach his children. Heaven and earth know no greater passion than God’s personal passion for you and your return! ADDRESS:
Heaven Rev 21:3-4 FEATURES: Prime River of life front Rev 22 Many rooms with a master suite John 14:2 Spacious love John 3:16-18 and Rom 8:38-39 Open floor plan for peace Psalm 23 Large eat-in grace 2Cor 12:9 Fenced in mercy with room for expansion Rom 3:21-27 Sun room with a marvellous view of salvation Rom 10:9-10 Out of this world security Psalm 91 + Psalm121:3-4 Pearly gates Rev21:21-27 Peaseful Area John 14:27 DIRECTIONS: The only way to the Father is through the Son John 14:6 PRICE: R0.00 - Calvary - Owner financing 1 Cor 6:19-20 COMMUNITY: Friendly angelic neighbours. Col1:16 Great family and friends. Eph 3:14-20 Praise the Lord all day and night.Ps 100 BONUS: Crown of stars, new luxurious robe and golden slippers with matching wings. Bring a friend and get a reward. For more information, call your local agent or representative - Name, address and phone number listed below. NAME: Jesus Christ ADDRESS: Repent Highway and Streets of Gold PHONE: Dial John 3:16 When Satan comes knocking at your door just simply say "Jesus will you get that for me?" I have in my hands two boxes
Which God gave me to hold. He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box And all your joys in the gold." I heeded His words, and in the two boxes Both my joys and sorrows I stored. But though the gold became heavier each day The black was as light as before. With curiosity, I opened the black, I wanted to find out why, And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole Which my sorrows had fallen out by. I showed the hole to God, and mused, "I wonder where my sorrows could be." He smiled a gentle smile and said, "My child, they're all here with me." I asked God why He gave me the boxes, Why the gold and the black with the hole? "My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings, the black is for you to let go." |
Ana & Andre Schoonbee God uses us to motivate and encourage the body. Authors
All
Archives
June 2015
|