Have you ever prayed something like this: "Lord, I know what you must be thinking about me right now," and then began to tell Him what you were actually thinking about yourself? We all do this. We condemn ourselves for the mistakes we have made and resolve within ourselves that it must be what the Lord thinks of us.
But, this is a wrong thing to do! We have got to stop "putting our words in the Lord's mouth." We must come to know the Lord as He is, and not as we assume Him to be. We must let Him put HIS words in our mouths.
Listen to what the Lord says about Himself in the words of Jeremiah, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11). And in the writings of Isaiah, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8,9).
In other words - God thinks more highly of us than we think of ourselves. And God's plans for us are greater than the plans we would set for ourselves.
Yet something within us makes us believe that God is always angry with us, always ready to "smite us, yea, and that right early!" We tread softly in His presence and cower when we pray, for we dare not rouse Him from slumber lest He strike us with His rod of righteous judgment — O bless His Holy Name!
Now I ask you honestly, how in the world can you have any kind of a meaningful relationship with someone like that? You CAN'T! And that's precisely why so few really know the Lord.
Why not right now reintroduce yourself to the Lord. And ask Him to reintroduce Himself to you. Start afresh and live in the delight of knowing that His thoughts of you are of peace, and not of evil. And then you will discover, that your thoughts of Him are of peace — and not evil.