Are you mad over money problems in your marriage? If you are, financial consultant Ron Blue claims that you aren't alone. He states, "Money is the reason given in 50 percent of divorce cases, but I believe money problems are symptoms of an inability to relate to each other on other levels. How you use money reflects your priorities. For example, one spouse may want to furnish the house, while the other wants to take a vacation. They call it a money problem, but it's really a priority problem, or a problem of communicating about their priorities." It's been said, "Money has power far beyond its ability to purchase goods and services. It has the ability to negatively change one's attitude towards our spouse when we don't learn how to use it as a marital team." Haven't you seen that to be true? Spending issues sure can cause a lot of division within relationships! Steve and I know that for a fact! It took a lot of years for us to learn how to give and take so we could be united in how "our" money is spent (rather than "his" or "hers"). It's not that we don't each have a little To spend our own way, but when it comes to bigger purchases, we've made it our goal and commitment to be united as a marital team (and we are). To look further into this matter, we'll share a portion of a Kyria.com article written by Beverly Burch titled, "Stop the Money Madness." In this article Beverly wrote, "You may not want to discuss personal finances but it's important that you and your spouse learn healthy ways to talk about money. And while the size of your bank account is significant, it's the meaning you assign to money that makes the biggest impact on your marriage -for good or for ill. "A factor that affects how couples develop a sense of how to spend their money as a marital team is coming to an understanding of how their concept of spending was shaped by the family they grew up in. Spouses may end up clashing because they came from families, which handled money quite differently. A woman who grew up equating money with security might marry a man from a family of spenders who expressed love through buying expensive gifts. In either case, our own financial style feels right because it reflects attitudes and values that are familiar. "Moving from individual to shared control of finances can feel threatening to newlyweds who are still learning to trust one another in other areas of life. Money can become the focus of conflicts that are really about something else. For instance, a newlywed might not accuse his or her mate of self-centeredness. It's easier to criticize excessive spending instead. "As couples move into their middle years, no longer does the question ' mine or yours?' drive disagreements over money. Instead, the questions multiply as the couple's responsibilities mount, 'Who gets what? How much? When? and how are we going to manage it?' Although some middle-years marriages are troubled by crisis, most simply begin to experience pressure from the weight of having more responsibilities & at the same time the shrinking of available time & money. "Later Years: CONTENTMENT or RESENTMENT? As a couple mover into their Later years, they see how their former financial choices have affected their current choices. As retirement approaches, the most important financial question becomes 'How are we going to live on a fixed income?' Resentments that weren't solved in earlier years now begin to surface. At this stage, arguments over money usually take the form of blame for decisions long past the possibility of change. "A negative focus on the past can cause problems with a couple's ability to work together on current financial decisions. Unless they can let go of resentment and blame, they won't be able to move on peacefully and productively with the rest of their lives." Let me (Cindy) interject here, before sharing more of Beverly's article. This last point is an important one. The pastor who married my husband Steve and me, gave us great advice before we married (and we thank God he did). He told us to work NOT to argue over money. He said that once we were to the point of arguing, the problem was already at hand and arguing over it would only make matters worse. He told us to instead, face the problem - -work together to resolve it and then talk about how NOT to get in that predicament again. It wasn't to be about playing the "blame game" but rather to figure out how we could work together on our finances to find solutions to the problem. I'm sure that small piece of advice saved us hundreds of arguments. Because of it, we've learned to let go of the past and instead worked towards making better financial decisions TOGETHER to build a better future. According to Beverly Burch, "Here's how to get a head start in an area where couples struggle: - "WITHOUT SELF-CRITICISM OR SELF-JUSTIFICATION, IDENTIFY YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY. What does money mean to you? Does it make you feel powerful, anxious, guilty, loved, responsible or secure? What assumptions and values about money did you develop while you were growing up? - "AVOID LABELING YOUR SPOUSE'S ATTITUDES AS 'RIGHT' OR 'WRONG.' Try to understand one another's money history. Listen for the hurts, fears wishes and hopes that get funneled into money. Try to empathize rather than criticize. Honoring each other's needs can help you respectfully negotiate your financial decisions. Remember, respect breeds trust. - "LEARN FROM EACH OTHER. Temporarily out aside your own beliefs and see what your spouse can teach you. A saver can learn a new kind of security when stretched by a spouse who exchanges money for present enjoyment, or who finds satisfaction in giving. - "TOGETHER, LIST YOUR PRIORITIES. What is valuable to you? Identify the top priorities you share and what this means for your budget? In my husband's family, the adventure of traveling around the United States was a high priority, and their budget was geared toward that. They did without some things, but family gatherings today are enlivened by the stories they're able to talk about because of their travels. - "GET SOUND ADVICE. Some conflicts over money come from not being aware of your options. Ask someone you trust to refer you to a qualified financial advisor who will respect your priorities." .............................................................. Let me tell you that Steve and I are not "qualified financial advisors" but on our web site at www.marriagemissions.com in the "Finances in Marriage" section, we link to some who are. And we also provide a link within this Marriage Message (on the web site) to the entire article by Beverly Burch (so you can learn more). From Crown Financial Ministries we give you the following closing thoughts to prayerfully consider: "Christians who are not experiencing peace in financial matters should reevaluate and ask themselves: 'Who is in control of my financial decisions? Who is directing my paths? Am I being controlled by God or by my own desires?'" Please make this a matter of prayer. If you aren't using your money in a way that honors each other and honors God, we hope you will make the effort to start to change things today. Cindy and Steve Wright Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty. He was, he is, and he is coming. Rev 4:8
Exactly what is worship? I like King David's definition. "Oh magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together" (Psa 34:3 NASB). Worship is the act of magnifying God. Enlarging our vision of him. Stepping into the cockpit to see where he sits and observe how he works. Of course, his size doesn't change, but our perception of him does. As we draw nearer, he seems larger. Isn't that what we need? A big view of God? Don't we have big problems, big worries, big questions? Of course we do. Hence we need a big view of God. Worship offers that. How can we sing, "Holy, Holy, Holy" and not have our vision expanded? Just Like Jesus (Max Lucado) Doesn’t someone owe you an apology? A second chance? An explanation? A thank you? A childhood? A marriage? Your parents should have been more protective. Your children should have been more appreciative. Your spouse should be more sensitive. What are you going to do? Few questions are more important.
Dealing with debt is at the heart of your happiness. Jesus speaks of the grace we should share. He says: "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" (Matthew 6:14). It reminds me of the story of a huge grizzly bear in the center of Yellowstone Park feeding on discarded camp food. No one dared draw near. Except a skunk who walked toward the food and took his place next to the grizzly. The bear didn’t object. He knew the high cost of getting even! We’d be wise to learn the same thing. “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” (Jas 1:19-20, NIV)
Have you ever wanted to bite somebody? Even been so angry you could take a chunk out of ‘em? Maybe; maybe not. There are many around you who are feeling the squeeze; more than a few grinding their teeth. For there is a growing anger in our world today, fuelled by any number of things, and headed for an unmistakable eruption. We are fast approaching the tipping point. But how about you? How are you doing? Are you finding a way to handle our topsy-turvy world without blowing a gasket? I think James gives us a good place to start when he advises – “everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” An old proverb says that God gave man two ears and one mouth, so that we would listen twice as much as we speak. Why not cultivate this as a personal habit? Throughout today stop and deliberately listen – listen to those who want to talk to you. Listen to the music that you have playing in your car as you drive to work. Listen to the sounds of life happening around you. Listen to your thoughts. And, above all – listen to the Lord. He will take the bite out of everything! 'n Hartsiekte sal tot jou dood lei as jy dit nie betyds ontdek en behandel nie. Dit is waar op 'n fisiese en geestelike vlak. Dis hoekom die Bybel sê: "Wees veral versigtig met wat in jou hart omgaan, want dit bepaal jou hele lewe." Dis prysenswaardig om op jou beste te wil lyk. Dit kan jou sin van eiewaarde verhoog en jou vooruitsigte in die lewe verbeter. Maar jy sal 'n groot fout maak as jy so behep is met jou voorkoms dat jy jou karakter afskeep. "Die mens kyk na die uiterlike, maar die Here na die innerlike." (1 Sam 16:7 NV). Dis waar die Bybel 'n rol in jou lewe speel. Dis soos 'n spieël wat jou wys wat die toestand van jou hart is. Hoe gaan dit vandag met jou hart? Met watter soort gedagtes is jy besig? Jesus sê: "Geseënd is die wat rein van hart is, want hulle sal God sien." (Matt 5:8 NV). Met ander woorde, wanneer jy dinge op God se manier begin sien, sal jy daarvolgens begin optree. As die water in die put besoedel is, sal dit jou siek maak. As jy genoeg daarvan drink, kan dit jou selfs doodmaak. Wat is die punt? Dis nie genoeg om bloot jou slegte gewoontes te probeer verander nie; jy moet by die hart van die probleem uitkom - die probleem van jou hart! Die Psalmskrywer het dit besef toe hy geskryf het: "Skep vir my 'n rein hart, o God, vernuwe my gees en maak my standvastig." (Ps 51:12 NV). As jy wil hê dat God jou voorspoedig maak, kry jou hart reg.
Sielskos: Hand 12-13; Mark. 4:10-20; Ps 103:13-22; Spr. 10:30-32 God's Promises
Jesus Christ and HIS porimises are the same. Yesterday, Today, and Forever. If you call on me, I will Answer. If you open your heart to me, I will enter. If you will be my child, I will be your God. If you Love me and be my Servant, I will come to you. I will abide in you. I will walk with you. I will talk with you. I will direct your path. I will be with you always. I will be your Savior. I will be your Friend... Forever! Heaven and Earth will pass away. But, My promises to you will never pass away. For My promises are forever, Just as I am... Forever! Poem by Ken Pilcher, Jr. Interesting, since they haven’t been to war since 1952….everybody is a hero…Someone’s cousin is in the medal business…they should learn about ribbons… do they clink when they walk?
They must get medals for breathing. North Korean officers...could be easily defeated with a giant magnet... "For men will be lovers of self...rather than lovers of God..." 2 Timothy 3:2, 4
Imagine a time in history, when "people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, arrogant, abusive, and disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unloving, and slanderous, without self-control, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; holding to a form of godliness but denying its power." Doesn't this sound like today's world...even describing many inside and outside of today's churches! When were these words penned? Almost 2,000 years ago... in the Word of God. This prediction was prefaced with these haunting words: "But realize this: that in the last days difficult times will come" (2 Timothy 3:1). Sounds like we're there. How can we change? God's Word says, "The Scriptures are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Jesus Christ." So study God's Word. Believe what it says about how to be saved from ungodly character. Live what it says, for we all are running out of time. "HIS DIVINE POWER has GIVEN us EVERYTHING we NEED for LIFE and GODLINESS....." 2Pet1:3). He HAS GIVEN us HIS SPIRIT, " ...that we may UNDERSTAND WHAT GOD HAS FREELY GIVEN US" (1Cor2:12). Therefore WE KNOW that GOD HAS SUPPLIED ALL OUR NEEDS (EVERY NEED) ACCORDING TO HIS GLORIOUS RICHES IN CHRIST JESUS (Phil4:19); FOR "...ALONG WITH HIM (JESUS) GOD FREELY GIVE US ALL THINGS" (Rom8:32)..... BECAUSE WE ARE NEW CREATURES "IN CHRIST" WE ARE the FAR ABOVE PEOPLE... FRUITFUL, SUCCESSFUL, PROSPEROUS, HEALTHY, ABUNDANTLY BLESSED, ANOINTED AND HIGHLY FAVOURED...........Have a MAGNIFICENT day in "HIS DIVINE POWER".......
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Ana & Andre Schoonbee God uses us to motivate and encourage the body. Authors
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