Submitting To One Another by Os Hilman

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. – Proverbs 31:11

Angie and I had been married three years. She was thirty-six; I was forty-five when we married. It was the most unlikely match, yet we knew without a doubt God brought us together to be married. We had both experienced a great deal of pain and hardship in our past relationships, but God used these hardships to bring us into an intimate relationship with Christ and each other. When we were married, we lived in my home that had been built in 1969. The heating system was no longer used in homes built today and the plumbing was a regular source of well-timed calamity, flooding our basement several times over. One time our septic tank backed up and we had to remove all the carpet from the basement. Not the mention the mildew that was a constant problem.

Shortly after marriage Angie was visiting her hairdresser who happened to say, “What has happened to your hair? It’s turning green!” Angie was obviously shocked and concerned. Her hairdresser inquired more and found that the well water in our house was reacting to her hair color. “You cannot shower and have your hair stay its correct color,” said her hairdresser. So, for the next two and a half years Angie began a routine that required her to wash her hair with bottled water in the kitchen sink. Now most women I know would have immediately said, “We are moving or do whatever it takes to solve this problem if you want me to live with you!” Finances were tight for us, which prevented us from investing in a water purification system. Angie became a real trouper. Every other week I would make my routine trip to the grocery story to fill up bottles of water, come home and Angie would place the water into a larger pan to heat before she used it. We often joked that Angie had always felt she was called to the mission field. We just didn’t think the bush conditions would be in our own home in north Atlanta.

Then one day our deliverance came. A commercial real estate company sold our property, and luckily for us, it did not matter what condition our house was in because the land was what the buyers wanted. It was a glorious day! We could now move! You can only imagine Angie’s excitement. She was a woman who looked forward to a simple hair washing in a shower.

So, our search began. We knew the Lord had a home just for us. For the next several months we looked at several houses. Finally, we found one that seemed great. I absolutely loved the house, even though it would require some work to be done. For some reason, Angie did not have a peace about the house. She saw my obvious enthusiasm for the home, but she was still troubled. I thought that if we could resolve her concerns, she would be ok with it. (Isn’t that like most of us men, we will fix the problem – her.) However, as we resolved each issue, she still did not have peace. She often felt I was pressuring her to make a decision for this home. Though not intentional, I was making it hard for her to be objective. One commitment I made in our marriage was that we would not make any major decisions that both of us did not have total peace about. I have learned that my wife does not have to have a good reason for her lack of peace about something. Sometimes God places a check in her spirit and it cannot be rationally explained. So, after some time we decided against this home, even though my heart was still very much in favor of it. I had to admit I was disappointed. It was all I wanted in a home.

One day I received a call from a friend of mine who was aware of a woman who had just lost her husband through a sudden death and was considering selling. My friend asked if I was interested in seeing her home. I went to see the home and initially liked what I saw. During the conversation with the woman I could see she was in a great deal of pain. The Lord told me (in a quiet voice inside) to offer to pray for her, not knowing anything about her beliefs. She accepted my offer and I prayed for God to bring comfort to her in her loss of her husband. I did not press any spiritual issues with her at the time, as God seemed to say I was to simply pray for her. The next day I brought Angie to see the home. She loved it. A few days later we placed an offer on the home and she accepted.

I made an appointment to sign a purchase agreement. As we began to talk more I asked her if she had made a total commitment to the Lord Jesus. She said she had made a commitment in her past, but probably needed to recommit her life to Christ. I asked her if she would like to do that right now. She said she did. So, we bowed our heads and she followed my prayer of rededication for her life to Jesus Christ. The following week Angie and I spent more time talking and sharing with the grieving lady who was questioning God’s love for her. We were able to assure her the loss of her husband was not due to anything she had done, but that each of us has a time when we are called home.

It was a spiritual conclusion to a journey that began as a physical need, but ended in a spiritual victory for someone who needed the Savior’s love. Friend, life is filled with divine appointments awaiting our involvement. The problem often comes when we become so self-focused and set in our ways that we miss the blessing that God wants to bring our way. Angie and I looked back at the various steps in this story and realized the key steps were our commitment to having total agreement about a major decision and our willingness to see where God might be working in a situation.

Do you and your spouse have a major decision to make? Has God brought a divine appointment in your life today? Remember these two principles; be in agreement with one another, and watch and pray. He wants to meet your needs and use you to impact someone for the Kingdom of God, perhaps even this very day.

“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” –Ephesians 5:33

Os Hillman

TGIF - Today God Is First

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